A whirlwind of Emotions!

What a week this has been. Both one of the best and worst weeks of my life. I have experienced so many emotions that I am truly exhausted. I'm not even sure where to begin. As most of you know, the hospital has your new baby's ears checked before discharge. Well Traxton failed this test with both ears. They told me not to be alarmed but he needed to be rechecked in a couple of days. Sometimes it just takes a few days for fluid in front of the ear drum to drain out. Well, of course you can't tell a hormonal new mom not to be alarmed when their child doesn't pass something. I tried not to worry too much about this, but as the days wore on, I started to freak out. I knew that my baby couldn't hear me. He didn't startle when I would talk to him like I can remember my other kids doing. We had to take him back in on Friday to be re-tested and he failed on both sides again. I was a mess. All I could do was cry. It broke my heart to think that this perfect little baby couldn't hear my voice or the voices of his older brother and sister. When Ashten would start to sing to him, I would lose it. I couldn't imagine what it would be like for my little boy to grow up not being able to hear. At one point I couldn't even look at him because it would just make me cry. Because he failed the test twice they scheduled him for a more intense test where they would place monitors around on his head and measure the brain response when sound at different wavelengths entered his ears. It would be able to tell if it was nerve damage or just fluid in the middle ear that would be corrected with tubes. He had to be asleep for test which would last about an hour so we had to make sure he was "sleep deprived". Because we were scheduled at 7:00 am, we woke him up at 5:30 and kept him awake until we arrived at the audiologists office. They were able to change different variables and determine at what decimal he was able to hear and what he couldn't. He did so good and slept through the whole test. When we left the office we still didn't know exactly what we were dealing with. They said that it looked like it could just be the fluid but we would have to go see an ENT to find out for sure. Well today we went to the ear nose and throat Dr and found out that it is just fluid. They said that it may even drain out on its own in time, but if it doesn't by the time we go back in six weeks they may consider putting tubes in his ears. I can not even explain how big of a relief this is. I know that we have been blessed because of all of the fasting and prayers gone out in our behalf. I have pleaded with my heavenly father more this week than I have in a very long time. I am so thankful for the support given by our family and friends and especially for Jared. I would not have made it through this week without him. He was my constant rock and shoulder to cry on when I couldn't face the fear of the unknown. He also gave me hope and encouragement with the reminder that it didn't matter if our little boy could hear or not. We would still love him and we would just learn how to do sign language. I know this has been a long post, but all week I have been looking forward to the time where I could say that my baby can hear!